In the Garden Setting 1: Lillith and Adam Told from Adam Setting 2: Lillith, Adam and Eve Told from both Eve and Lillith Chapter 1. Adam awakes I am awake. I don’t know for how long, or why, but I am awake. I can smell the air around me. It is sweet of something, I can’t remember, or forget, I don’t know. I open my eyes. I see her. She sits next to me, there is something I like about her. I can’t tell why. “Hello” she says and smiles at me. “Who are you?” I ask. “I am Lillith. What is your name?” I notice her body is different from mine, the curves and the narrows. “My name is… I don’t know” I realize in that moment that I do not know what my name is, neither why I knew that I needed one, in a way that made my heart hurt. “Well why don’t we go ask?” “You can ask?” “Of course, you mean you can’t hear them? The animals?” “I don’t know, I haven’t met an animal yet.” Out of nowhere I see it, my heart jumps and I feel the urge to run. Its grotesque eyes staring out at me, and its tongue sliding in and out. It makes a noise I had never heard before, but I instantly dislike. But I then realize her eyes staring up at me, posing a question. “It's alright, it won’t hurt you. Nothing here will.” I immediately feel my body soften as I see it curl up next to her. She leans down and whispers to it, and takes a long time to listen to what noises it replies. “She says your name is Adam” Adam. Somehow it feels right, like I have been called that before, perhaps in another time. “Then I shall be Adam, and you shall be Lillith.” Something inside me fills with light, I am happy. Upon seeing me smile, she smiles back. Something about her glowed. Her skin glowed like the sun, it was somehow a different color than my own. “Do you want to walk with me?" She says as she outstretches her hand towards mine and grabs it gently. I realize that this creature is much smaller than me, I could break her easily, with just my own hands. But with her smaller hand wrapped in mine, and her smile up at me, I would never want to do anything to hurt her. Our hands fit together so perfectly, I want to protect her instead. “Where are we walking to?” I ask. “To look, there are so many beautiful things to see.” Before I can say anything, she pulls on my hand and pulls me quickly through the grass. The grass is so much taller than both of us, but she guides me through it, she seems to know where to go. We arrive at a place where water is met with earth. “This is called a pond, look! Isn’t it so beautiful to look at?” I look towards the pond. It is reflecting the sunlight in brilliant shades of orange. But what I want to look at is her. As she runs to the water and jumps in, I watch her closely. Her long dark hair almost looked blue. Her skin glowed like the sun, but most of all, she reminded me of something, something that I knew deeply, but had not lived to see yet. Some part of me felt that as she ran through the water naked I should look away, almost as if it was wrong to watch, but she stops and cocks her head at me. It's too late, she has seen me watching her. “Come in! It's fun!” she says as she waves her arm for me to come closer. I run to her and jump into the water with her. As the water morphed her body, I grab her hand in the way she grabbed mine before. “Why do I feel like I’ve known you for ages?” “Because I like you, and I don’t want anything from you.” She liked me. Somehow knowing that made me happier than ever before, if there even was a before. It felt right. “Do you know me?” I ask. “I asked for you.” She replies. “You asked for me?” How is that?” “I was here first. I was lonely. That’s why they made you.” “Who is they?” I am taken back “Them. I don’t know. They are everywhere, they are always watching you. I know someone is always listening. So I decided to ask for you. To test to see if they were listening well enough. And then I got you.” “Are they watching us now?” “Of course. They are always watching you.” I look down at her. Her eyes were a color I had only seen in the earth of the ground, but the purest form of it. It soaked and reflected the light around it. I could get lost in them. “Is it wrong to want you?” She looks up at me and I see the light shining through her eyes. “No, because I trust you.” She folds herself into me and I grab around her. “I trust you too.” I put my head down into her hair and breathe out. As I breathe in I find that she smells of flowers. She feels like freedom. ________________ Chapter 2. The Willow Trees I can see her, she is awake. Little does she know that I’ve been watching over her through the morning. She is impossibly beautiful. “Good Morning.” She smiles at me “Today I want to take you to someplace special.” “Where are we going?” I ask “To the trees..” She whispers in my ear excitedly. “To the trees that They made.” “Who is They?” “I’ve already told you, They are everywhere.” “Lets go!” She says as she runs off. I run after her in order to keep up. Last night I had a thought of something in my sleep, but I do not know how to describe it. It was of her, I held her in my arms. But it was not like the day, where I could see clearly. My vision was hazy, and it was like I could see her in my arms but I could not feel her. “Meet me at the tree!” She shouts as she points at what’s ahead on the path. The surrounding trees have cleared and made way for two draping willow trees. While the rest of the trees are green and brown, this tree's vines almost glows gold. They sway in the wind gently. I run to catch up with her. I could not live with myself if I ever lost her. “Are you scared of me?” She asks. How did she know? That every time she looked up into my eyes my heart fluttered a little and I lost my breath. She was a fiend. “Yes I am, but it doesn’t matter because I see you in my dreams.” Dreams, that is the word I was missing from earlier. “Look” she says as her eyes grow wide. She looks up past me at the branches of the Willow. The vines of the tree drape over her gently, caressing her body’s curves. The light filters in through the branches of the tree, and they smell sweet all around us. “This is the tree of life, it’s fruit only bears for those who have earned it.” I look around, there is indeed no fruit hanging. She walks over to the second tree and touches its trunk. “This is the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. They told me that if we eat from it we will surely die.” “What does that mean?” “To Die?” “Yes.” “I think it means not to be anymore.” “Oh.” The fruit from the second tree was so enticing; Its skin glowed, reflecting the light around it. It was curved and shaped perfectly, it could fit so perfectly in your hand. You could almost see it there. “Look!” She grabs my attention out of thin air. She has drawn something in the dirt below the tree. It is a shape I have never seen before. “Fire, Water, Earth, Air, and Spirit” She said as she connected the five points along the circle that connected them. She circles the shape she has made, “Love”. Her eyes looked deep into mine, when we were crouched to the earth we had become the same height. She was searching for something, I don’t know what. _____________ Chapter 3: Temptations The day has turned to night. In my first nights here, I started to cry as the light faded, for I feared it would never return. Lilith wiped away my tears and reassured me that they would return, it was only time for the moon and stars to visit. She knows about so many things, sometimes I feel I know so little next to her. By the light of the moon I glance at her face. I do not tell her that my nights have been filled with dreams of her or the forbidden fruits. I dream of holding them both in my hands, I dream of taking the first bite, I dream of almost breaking her. I do not know where these desires come from, where they are buried, all I know is they have consumed my soul. She curls over in my lap and sighs. I caress her hair gently. She trusts me completely. I saw her today in the garden, a snake had wrapped around her whole body. She was naming the animals. “All things with life have names” she said to me, her eyes beaming into mine. But as the snake curved around her I couldn’t help but admire how her body curved so perfectly. It was always like watching water move, or the flames of a fire. She was so mesmerizing. Did she know that she could melt my whole heart with a single glance? That my breath choked up when she spoke. That I dreamt day and night of holding more of her than just her hands. I do not know how to tell her of these things. Chapter 4: Eve Awakes I am awake. I don’t know for how long, or why, but I am awake. I can smell the air around me. It's sweet of something, I can’t remember, or forget, I don’t know. I open my eyes. I see him. "Hello." he says and smiles at me. He reaches out his hand towards me. I grab it and he graciously helps me stand up. "I'm Adam, you must be Eve. I was told you would be coming my way soon." There is something so pleasant about his face, he had a glee to his smile. I could feel myself trusting him already. "Are you alright?" He inquires as he gently grabs my shoulders to guide me to shade. "Who am I?" I say as I look at him. "That's entirely up to you." He chuckles. “Really?” “Why of course.” He turns around and shows me a leaf he has filled with berries and nuts. “Here, try this, it’ll help you.” and he guides the food towards my hands. I instantly feel present when biting into a berry as it's sweet juice pops in my mouth. There is no before, there is no then, there is only now. He points to the field in front of us, with grass that rises above both of us. “Want to take a walk with me?” He asks and supplies me with the crook of his elbow. I slip my hand into his arm and we head through the grass. He brings me to a pond and gently grabs my hand. “Isn’t it so nice to look at?” He says to me. I notice how the orange of the sky is reflected in the water of the pond. I look over to my side and see him. He is gently kicking a rock with his foot. I grab the rock quickly and hold it up to him, “Is this what you were looking for?” I smile. His whole face blushes and turns pink. “Nooo, I’ve just never had another like me before. I don’t know what to do.” “Were you alone?” “Yes, I was. But now you’re here and- “ “And what?” I look deep into his eyes. They were like a cloudy sky when it turns bright. Barely blue. “I’m just happy you are here.” He sighs, “I waited a long time for you.” _________________ Chapter 5: Taking the first bite How like the moon, was her face. Impossible, for how was it that she refracted your own light to you? How did she throw back to you your own expression, your own innermost trembling thought? I wanted to break her, in the same way my hands would break wood for the fire, but only in a way I could earn. “I want you Adam” She said as she gazed up into my eyes, ”But only you.” I remember how it came out of her, like she was admitting a secret to me. We sat against the trunk of the willow tree, her body laying in mine, intertwined, watching the gold strands move in the sunlight. Underneath the tree, I lay her down next to me where it is mossy and soft. I cannot help but grasp the layout of her stomach, her hips, and her chest. She’s too hard to resist. Her skin glows like the skin of the fruits, she smells like the flowers in the fields, she is so soft and supple. I feel like I shouldn’t want her in the way that I do, but I can’t resist. She is my forbidden fruit. Slowly, our lips join together in harmony in a way that can only be described as pure bliss. “Do you wish for more?” I ask in her ear. “Yess..” She squeaks out. It comes out more like a moan than a whimper. I have thought about this moment a million different ways, a million different times. How it would feel, how it would taste, and all I can think about is how I just want more. More of her, all the time, I could never want anyone else. “Adam, I’m… I’m naked. You are too” She peers into my eyes as I hold myself above her, our skin pressing down together at the hips. “I know my love, I know.” Somehow she already knows what to do. She guides me into her and we become one. I don’t know why I ever resisted before, everything about her feels so right. ____________ “Why?” The snake slithers at me. “Why?” I echo back, confused. “Why did “they” say you would die if you took from this tree. You will not certainly die. For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.” “I have never seen God. But I have seen the power of this fruit in front of me. Is it wrong to want it?” “They were lying to you Eve. They lied to you about a lot of things. Have you ever wondered why you are here?” “Adam says he waited for me until they saw fit to make him a partner, so he would not be alone.” “You are not the first.” Something inside me shatters. Something that was complete before is now incomplete. “Did he lie to me too?” “Yesss” He hisses at me. “You were made of him, she was made with him.” I do not hesitate. For once in my life I do not think about what They would pick for me, or what He would pick for me. For the first time in my life, I choose for myself. I take the first bite. Everything shatters. __________________ Chapter 6: Betrayal He has forsaken me. My only love. I have seen him replace me like I never existed. If he doesn’t want me here then I don’t want to be here any longer. A putrid smell takes over my heart, as if I can sense his betrayal in more ways than one. How could he? He is lying to her. She doesn’t even know that I was there first. That if he failed with me, he will fail with her too. Quickly, I know a way out of the garden. My animals guide me among the cover of the forest. As I approach the door to the outside, I take one last look at my home. The beautiful crystal waterfalls and lakes, the grassy fields, the flowers and creeks, I will miss you, but I will not miss him. I walk through and don’t look back. ______________________ I am sitting in the sun, enjoying its rays along my feet. My back is against a rock, and I peer out to see the waterfall in front of me. Everyday is today. Suddenly I see her, my beautiful moon, emerge at the far end of the waterfall, across the lake. Something is wrong, she is not her normally bright self, it seems as if the light inside her has died. Her shoulders slump and she crumples into a ball and waits for me. I run to her immediately. Gasping, out of breath, I make it up the side of the mountain and see her crouched with her back to me. She is sobbing. “Why are we so horrible to each other?” She sobs into my chest. “My love, what did you do?” “I took it” she sobbed, “I couldn’t resist it. I just wanted to know… and now I will surely die!” I open up her hand to see the golden fruit with a single bite taken out. I crouch down and look at her in the eyes. “You will not surely die, and if you shall, you will not be left behind. Wherever you go I will go.” I lock eyes and take a bite from the fruit before she can fight back. Everything shatters. _________________ Chapter 7: Waiting He doesn’t know I spend my nights watching them in the garden. From the outside looking in, I can see everything between them. By the light of the full moon I see my beloved and my replacement live a life as if I was never there. How could he forsake me like this? Was I not enough for him? No! I was always enough, he just never recognized it. He was always yearning for something else, something more, something more like him. He wanted someone of him, not with him. She doesn’t even know I exist. She probably just thinks that she was made for him. She is still a woman, she can be so much more. I look around my hub in the branches of the trees. We are lifted so high above the garden that we can see in all of it, but they cannot see us. In the far off distance I can see the mountains, they are white and beautiful, majestic and powerful. I often wonder how far it would take to travel there. I look at Beelzebub and stroke his little furry head as he curls up in my lap. I remember the day I met him. It had been some time after I had run away, I was gathering berries and flowers in the forest when I heard a loud branch break. As I peered behind the bush he was hiding in, I saw a scared wounded creature. He reminded me of the snakes that roamed the garden. However he looked nothing like them, his fangs, legs and black fur were unique. I had never seen a creature like him before. He snarled every time I got close. I left some berries the first day and vowed to come back for him. I knew he was likely just terrified of me being a creature much larger in size. Over the next few moons I coaxed him further and further everyday, slowly gaining his trust. It turns out that he was injured with a thorn stuck deep within his paws. Over time he learned to trust me in any situation, even ones he had never been in before. Now, sitting next to me, it baffles me to think that I’ve earned this creature's complete trust. I feel the texture of his skin change, and he has turned into a black serpent with scales that reflect the moonlight. Suddenly, an idea sinks in. ____________________ Chapter 9: The Veil “What have you done?!” Her eyes shattered before me. I had never seen true fear in them before. I look at the fruit in my hand and it falls to the ground. “Adam! You shouldn’t have done that. I can’t be responsible for you too.” She starts to sob and crumples back to the ground. I come down and hold her in my chest. I feel dazed, I cannot put into words what I just saw. However, I can feel the weight of them. I know things will never be the same for either of us. The world feels like a strange hazy dream. I could see what I, who was not me, had done to her. I could see her hurt and pain, even with a different Adam, a different element of my own self. “What about Them?” She looks at me terrified. “They are always watching us.” “Well why don’t we go ask?” “What?!” Her eyes looks up at me startled and horrified. “They said we shall surely die!” “Do you even know what it means to die Lillith? Do either of us? How are we but yet alive then?” “Lets go ask.” I pull her off the ground, dry her tears with my hands and hold her face in my palms. “They see everything.” I carry her towards the Willow trees. She is too weak to walk. I try not to let my mind race. I can see now, I can see the past, the present, and the future. The veil has been lifted. Its too late to go back. __________________________________ I whisper to Beezelbub, “Do you remember the plan?” He slithers around my wrist and hisses his response. I’ve always been able to understand animals. Never quite the words they are saying, but most definitely their tone. I feel his fur shift and he has changed form to a black cat, his orange eyes staring at me. I kiss his head and carry him into my arms. “Now listen to me Bezzy,” I sigh, “Neither of us want to do this, but I think you know why we have to. We have to set her free.” “I can’t leave her down there, I can’t leave her behind. Look what he’s done to her. She doesn’t even know who she is outside of him. She never will as long as she’s in the garden with him. He’s lying to her.” Bezzy looks up at me with watchful eyes, they pierce right to my soul. I ache for her freedom. I ache for justice. “Go set her free.” I watch as he changes to a bat and flies into the garden, silhouetted against the orange sky. But once he has reached the center of the garden where the Willow trees are, I know he will take his final form. _________ Chapter 10: The Cost We have finally made it to the Willow trees. I lay her down by the light that filters through the strands of the tree. She is dying. I know what to do. I quiet my mind like so many times before, the way she had taught me. I breathe in the smell of the flowers swaying around me, feel the dirt between my toes, and bow down. “God, I know you have seen what we have done. I know you have seen what we’ve seen. We’ve become closer to you.” Out of the corner of my eye I see it, perhaps a movement, a shadow, I don’t know. Reality cracks and pure light peeks out behind the void. Suddenly I can hear with my whole head– “I have seen what you have done.” “Oh God, please forgive us! We have gone against the path that you have set for us, we took from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.” “Who told you to take from this tree?” “No one, we both took it of our own choice.” “Knowledge always comes at a cost. Are you ready to pay that cost? For you have shown me that you are pure of heart” “Yes, as long as we can be together. That’s all I care about. I would rather die than be without her.” Suddenly a bright light flashes on the Tree next to me, the one without fruit. “Since you took from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, you shall pay the ultimate price: eternal life. For few can see the depths of humankind and decide to be loyal to who they truly are. You have done what cannot be undone, but fear not, grace is still present where it need be. You two have surpassed the threshold for what a human should be. You shall be worshiped for all of time. Your spirit will never be laid to rest.” Two fruits appeared on the Tree of Life, one orange in color and one pink. I grab the orange fruit. Suddenly it is still and quiet. I grab the pink too and rush over to her. I push the fruit towards her lips and pray that it works. _______________________________ Chapter 11: Reckoning and Chaos I can see. For the first time in my life, I can see. I see Adam clearer than I ever have before. I am not the first. He lied to me. I know the truth now, I can never go back to how it was before, no matter how much I ache to. I don’t even care if I die now, for he has forsaken my whole existence. Everything has shattered. The only thing I can do is crumble him down with me. I grab another fruit from the tree, this time it is for him. _____________________________ I see him drinking from the stream. I force a smile and walk over to him. “I brought you something.” I look up at him and smile, like I have so many times before. “What is it?” He asks without looking “Just try it..” I sink to my toes and place the fruit in his mouth. Everything shatters and he falls to the ground. I smirk above him holding the fruit in my hand. ________________ Chapter 13: Sanctification I await anxiously for Beezelbub to return. It has been three days and three nights since I have released him. I hope he has done his job well. I hope she has seen the light. I hear a crack in the sky, louder than anything I have ever heard. It looks as if the sky has split open and out of it pure light is pouring through. In a flash and fury, I see her, a being I have never seen before but somehow know to exalt. She carries a sword that blazes with light, and flies to the center of the garden. I run out of the tree, making my way to the door to the garden as quickly as I can. _____________ Her eyes open in a flash and she gasps for air. Where her skin had looked pale and wan before, it now looked flushed and pink, like she was just touched too much by the sun. “Adam, what happened?” She asks me hazily. “They listened to us Lillith. They granted my prayer that you shall live and we shall be together.” “Adam, what did you do?” “They saved us Lillith, they saved us. They let us eat from the Tree of Life.” “They did?” Her eyes widened at me. “Yes they did!” I say relieved, I fall into her arms. “Oh Adam what have we done?” She cries out in anguish. I look up at her startled. “What do you mean?” “What now?” “We became like them, Lillith. Now we act like them. They gave us Eternal Life” “Eternal life?” She sobs, “We must live with this knowledge forever? I can’t bear that much pain.” “It’s okay my love, I will take the pain for you.” “But you can’t take this pain!” She sobs between gasps “This is the pain of my own mind. Knowing what we can do to each other, what you could have done to me.” “We have become more than human I fear.” She says with a look of terror upon her face. I take her head into my chest and try to stop the sobs. Inconsolable. “We can’t go back now.” I whisper in her ear. “I know” she spits out, as she lets out a huge breath into my arms. __________________________________ “Who told you you were naked?” I let him speak to them. After all it seems he has always spoken for me. I am awake now. “It was the woman,” he says as he points to me. I don’t say anything, and just stare up back at him with fiery eyes. Let him run his course. He did this to himself by creating me this way. He should have just loved her. My entire existence is just a shadow of what he wishes he could have from her. I am not the first. ____________________________ Chapter 14: Resurgence I am entering the garden, I have not been back since I left so many moons ago. I run to the source of the light, and see the being I had seen before. She, if that is her form, is radiating pure white light. She carries a sword in her hand, it is adorned with white flames all around it. However when you look at her face you can’t help but feel that it is understanding. I can just see a glimpse of them walking away. They are wearing something on their bodies, I do not understand. Snap! I have stepped on a twig. I look up and I realize I have caught the attention of the being of light in front me. She is so much bigger than any creature I have ever seen, and I am truly puny in comparison. “Who are you?” Her voice beams at me. “I am Lillith, Adam’s first wife. The First Human” “I am Jophiel. I was never sent to expel you from the garden.” “Adam no longer required me, so I no longer wished to stay here. I left a long time ago.” Suddenly, as if out of thin air, Beezelbub appears and purrs at my feet. “Who.. what is that?” I can sense her hesitation, as if he is not what he seems to me. “This is Beezelbub.” “You gave it a name?” She says with startled disgust. “All things with life have names.” “How did you.. How did you make it this way?” “I understood its pain. It had been left behind just like me.” “I’ve never seen a gift like yours, touching the darkness with light. This garden is still yours if you want it.” “I have no desire to return.” “God made you of the same flesh of the Earth as Adam, but its clear now that you were never meant to be equal, you are far greater.” “I only wanted her to be free.” “I know, but she is not ready yet. Someday when she is ready she will find us here and join us again.” The creature somehow comes to be the same size as me, and wraps their light around me. I can see her face now, it is so kind and pure, it looks like it could make any weary day better. “You are holy. You may join us as beings of light.” Before I can know it she has surrounded me completely in her light, and I cannot see the garden anymore. Everything shatters. Chapter 16: What's Done “Wake up” Jophiel pulls me out of my slumber. I have brought something for you. She gestures at a large object that I have never seen before. It looks as if it was a door to another world, like you could just walk through it. As I get closer I realize that much like how the water of the pond can reflect your image back to you, this does the same. I am awed at seeing myself so clearly, the water ripples always muddy it for me. “Did I always have these?” I notice the black feathers draped around me, moving with the will of my mind. With a new sense I spread them wide and notice my expansive new wings. “No you did not, you have earned them. You are one of us now.” Upon my head sit a set of black horns I have seen once before, on a creature I had named the Ram. It was aggressive and foul at times, but its horns were always something beautiful to admire. “These are your emblems. The symbols that represent your power as a deity that set you apart from all other humans.” I am struck by the beauty of the black against my skin and head. It is the purest black I’ve ever seen, purer than the night sky. I have grown so many times before, but this time feels different, feels complete. I can see so clearly now. I have found the end of who I am. I have spent my whole life looking for answers and the answers I received were more beautiful than anything I could have ever imagined. I am complete. I am Lillith. The First Human. _________________________ I watch her sit by the edge of the pond bathed in the moonlight. She has been despondent the past few moons and suns. I have brought her flowers, fruit, water, and animals, and nothing can seem to pull her out of her lucid state. She nods as if she understands, but I can see it in her eyes, she is empty, there is nothing left of her to give. I gently come up next to her and throw a rock in the spot she is staring at in the pond. “Why did you do that?” “Because I can” I shrug I see something build up inside her chest, after all with her tiny frame and big emotions it's usually easy to tell. “Do you love me?” She sputters, her eyes pleading into mine for an answer. I am taken aback. How could she not know that I loved her? For while I have never said it with my words, I would have hoped my actions made it apparent. Did she not know the place she takes up in my heart? How I would rather die than be without her? “I love you fully Lillith. Everything you are, everything you will become. I have always loved you.” “I waited for you for so long. I got used to being alone. I never thought I would have anyone here by my side the way you have been. But we can never go back to how things were, we had things back then that we don’t have now. I wish I could just become a short and sweet plant, such as a laurel. To have never crossed into this side of existence to begin with. It seems foolish to fret about it now though, what’s done is done.” “You were always my forbidden fruit. I didn’t need any other temptation to be happy.” “I was so innocent.” Her eyes beam sadly, “But I had to take from the knowledge of good and evil.” “Don’t we all?”